Tony Blair, unbowed by a devastating general election result, has appointed Mister Poo-Poo, his fluffy bedtime bunny, as a junior minister responsible for schools and cute things.

A cabinet spokesmonkey confirmed that Mister Poo-Poo had proven his loyalty to the PM in many late night conferences, and had often been sent to take debriefings from Gordon Brown. He has long been said to be Tony Blair's favourite bunny. The two are said to be very much on the same wavelength, and the new junior minister is said to be very open to the PM's ideas.

Mister Poo-Poo unfortunately failed to be elected due to a technicality over his biological make-up. Instead he has been given a place in the House of Lords, along with Paul Drayson, who gave the Labour party £500,000 in June 2004, and some bloke who lent Mr Blair a tenner in 1972 and who had always felt the PM owed him one.