Disaffected farmers, lorry drivers and Conservative Party leaders today vowed to fight vindictive Middle-Eastern oil producers by driving very slowly through Newcastle, in North-East England.

The group said they are taking swift and effective action against three serious threats to their selfishness: commodity brokers who panic and push up the price of oil because they never know what else to do; oil-producing nations who have taken in excess of 12 hours to decide whether to increase production; and the British government, who suddenly introduced fuel tax in 1909.

David Choker, of Farmers for A Polluted Countryside, said "In the last week these three forces have conspired to increase the price at the pump by a stagger 2p. It's utterly unbearable. And I am quite convinced that our actions in Newcastle will be successful. This is the democratic will of the people, and there's no way the Saudi government can ignore that."