Two white-coated scientists with pocket protectors have made a breakthrough in the theory of prime numbers.

Prime numbers are whole numbers that can only be divided by themselves and 1. The first few are 2, 3, 5 and 7. It has long been suspected that all pop-science articles on the subject must always repeat the explanation of what a prime is, but this has never been proved.

However, thanks to new methods which are too complicated for lazy journalists, it has been shown conclusively to be true. "This is so important," said one of the scientists, neither of whom are British, "that we expect it to be turned into a lightweight historical novel."