Downing Street was gripped with panic and frustration yesterday when a secretary in a small US car hire firm admitted she could run the world without Britain. Mrs Marsha Kubbowitz, 57, of Scotsville, Ohio, said she thought Britain was "cute" and she was happy to tolerate it, but since she was American she had more power in her little finger than all the British people put together.

According to Mrs Kubbowitz, her consumption dictated the movements of the UK stockmarket, and as a US voter she exerted more influence on George Bush than Tony Blair could ever hope to.

Downing Street said, "Of course it's true that any one person in the US does have more influence on the world that our entire country. But we were hoping that no-one would notice and we can continue playing international diplomacy, if only to make ourselves feel better."