After months of diplomatic wrangling the UN Security Council has suddenly realised that Hans Blix is pulling the wool over their eyes and spouting complete nonsense.

General Colin Powell accused Dr Blix of hiding the truth and not taking the reporting process seriously. German Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer agreed. He said Dr Blix's stalling had shamed the UN and he was sick and tired of his "games".

Coalition forces will begin operations against Dr Blix in three days.