George W. Bush has explained his vision of a free Iraq in his role as CEO of USA Inc. "A new Iraq will have a George W. Bush business park, and George Bush Snr shopping plaza," he said, "And we will build a new infrastructure, including the Blair Sewage Works."

"The people of Iraq will be free," he continued, "to sell their oil to Halliburton, then buy it back at vastly inflated prices. We respect their culture, which will be bolstered by a flood of imports from McDonalds and Coca-Cola, the very pinacle of civilisation."

But the president was also scathing of his critics. "People said Germany and Japan could not be democratic nations impotent against the will of the United States. They were wrong. I believe we can also give the people of Iraq self-determination, subject to the usual terms and conditions."