Government officials today announced they would reduce gas emissions by stopping Tony Blair making any more pointless announcements, such as the one today in which he suggested the US should use more renewable energy sources.

The PM promised Britain would reduce greenhouse emissions and that the US should do the same. "There are three excellent reasons why they should do this," he said, "because poor countries suffer, because it protects the environment, and because the Kyoto Protocol says they should. These are all things that George Bush cares about."

A Downing Street spoke apologised for Mr Blair's outburst. "Obviously he's in cloud cuckoo land. He's not been getting enough sleep lately, I'm really sorry. It won't happen again."