Stamping his authority forcefully on his party once again, Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith wandered around with a few market traders today to protest against the London congestion charge.

With a million Britons marching against looming war with Iraq, it was only a matter of time before Mr Duncan Smith recognised the hottest political issue of the day, and stood up for something completely different.

A spokesuit for the Conservatives said, "The Iraqi regime is the greatest threat to our democracy and the government must stop scaremongering and tell us what it knows. Sorry... Iain Duncan Who?"