A group of middle class liberals with no money worries will leave Britain at the weekend to die in Iraq, in a protest they believe will bring world peace and make Tony Blair and George Bush really really sorry. The group, named the Joint Opposition to Killing Everybody, will act as a human shield, ensuring that if bombs start dropping then their deaths will be the responsibility of western leaders and absolutely not their own misguided naivety.

The group is the brainchild of Biff "Chip" O'Bucky, a former US Marine. "Since I never got to command a unit of my own," he said yesterday, "I've got all these unfulfilled desires to order others to their certain death. I'm aiming to get 10,000 people to Iraq, so the 6 people I've got so far is a fantastic start."

Group member Gillian Drip explained: "It's like, I really respect Saddam Hussein, yeah, because he's being oppressed, just like women in Britain. And so when he held westerners hostage as human shields in 1991 that was such an inspired gesture of defiance I felt I had to be part of that experience, that togetherness. Saddam's a really holistic guy. I know he'll appreciate what we're doing for him."