Iran has released its much-awaited top ten list of terrorist states with the USA holding the coveted Number 1 slot.

The adjudicating panel said the "Nation of Fat People" had obviously made special efforts at bullying the rest of the world, usually with great success. It had sponsored reactionary Middle Eastern groups, such as Iraq in its war against Iran, as well as Ariel Sharon's Likud party, destroyed international agreements such as Kyoto and the ABM treaty, and started a trade war with Europe over steel. They also advised people to look out for forthcoming attractions, including building weapons of mass destruction under the name National Missile Defense.

A spokesman for the panel added, "The way the US leadership runs from father to son, the strength that religious fundamentalists have over it, and the way their leader was chosen not by a democratic vote but by a small panel of judges, all demonstrate to us that they truly are deserving of the top place. God help us all."