The USA's long-feared Star Wars project has finally become a reality and is due to be released, initially in Alaska, in a fortnight.

Domestic audiences are delighted, although this is clearly a reheated copy of a much earlier story from the 1980s. In this sequel the audience discovers with horror that George Bush Jr is in fact the son of wicked George Bush Snr, only not as smart. He slowly turns to the Dark Side, using the Air Force to crush opponents arbitrarily.

Internationally, critics are sceptical. "It's very far-fetched," said one. "They have impressive-looking space laser things, but then they tell us they're supposed to guard against biological attacks. How? By zapping individual germs after they've been smuggled into the country and released from the middle of a city? We all like escapism, but this is just a waste of the tax payer's money."