UN Secretary General Kofi Annan has announced that it's too difficult to visit Israel and find out what happened in Jenin, and that in future the UN will stick to less confrontational tasks such as flower arranging.

"We had intended to find out whether there was a massacre in Jenin," he told anyone who would listen, "but then Ariel Sharon started being a bit difficult. Well, we certainly didn't expect that, I can tell you. We didn't know what to do, so we decided to just give up."

The courageous leader went on to explain how this affects other regimes around the world. "If states such as Serbia, Iraq and Zimbabwe start being funny about us checking them out, then frankly there's just no point. We might as well just let them get on with it. I dunno... whatever..."